Skip to main content

Introduction to Writing to Relax


Hello again family. 

So today will be a little different as I'll be sharing with y'all something that I do when I'm feeling really bad. I call it writing to relax and basically I just write whatever comes to mind. Be forewarned, I usually write at my lowest points, so it can be emotionally heavy sometimes. This is something I wrote today as I was falling asleep at my desk on the back side of a piece of paper. Remember that your writing can be a great tool for healing if you utilize it. Try to write something today. Doesn't have to be much, or be fancy, just get the words out your head on paper and see how it makes you feel. What do you have to lose? 

Today

I'm tired. I'm tired of this job. I'm tired of working. I'm tired of living. I'm tired of life. I wish I were happy, secure, stable, all of the above. I have nothing to look forward to. I guess I'm sad right now. I want to walk out and never come back. I wanna run as fast as I can go. This ain't the life I want for myself. I'm tired of being miserable. I want to be happy.
I'm ungrateful, I know it for sure.
It's just hard to be when this isn't even what you asked for.
I wish I could die without hurting my kids.
Maybe I'll live long enough to be happy again.
Oh, I wish it was as simple as an on and off switch.
Then I could turn on the nice and stop being a bitch.
Most days, I feel like it's the opposite.
I just know I'm getting tired of this sad bitch shit.
This day has been one of the slowest.
This year has been one of the brokest.
Sometimes I hate myself for the decisions that I've made.
Pissed off about the lost time to the people I've gave.
Pain, anger, and pain.
Weighs heavy on my soul and brain.
One day lord I pray I'll be free.
To come and go, do, and be as I please.
Free as the breeze or the space between knees.
Free to be happy, or whatever that means.
Faith, religion, spirituality.
Love, friends, relationships, and family.
Everything from the latter feels so foreign to me.
Don't know if I'll ever understand it.
Or if I'll live my life the way I planned it.
Yeah I want to goddamn it!
Why do I always look to others for my peace?
Why ain't it ever a real piece of me?
Why do I attract so much negative energy?
Especially since I know good and damn well it's killing me, mentally.
Wait for me please.
I won't be a mess forever.
Sit right here and help me get it together.
Storm, sun, wind, any weather.
Love me as heavy as a feather.
Can't you see I'm lost? Lead me to shelter.
Cause today I feel sad.
And it ain't getting no better.


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Introduction: Welcome to my Life

Well hello there. If you're reading this that means you made it to my blog and for that I want to say thank you so much! It also means that you are now my family, so it's nice to see meet you cousin! So after months and months of thinking about starting a blog, I've finally done it and I'm glad you're here to witness it. But first, let me briefly introduce myself. My name is Alexis Gant. I'm 20 years old from Jacksonville, Florida and am currently a junior at Florida State University double majoring in criminology and interdisciplinary social sciences with a concentration in sociology and anthropology (sounds like a lot but it's really not). I am a mother to two beautiful girls, Heaven and Malia. I'm pretty much a loner even though I live for social interaction (probably cause I'm on some different wavelengths). I am passionate about education and the criminal justice system and hope to one day become a defense attorney. I believe in love and s...
3 comments
Read more

Manifesting Practice: Scripting my Perfect Life

Howdy family, This past weekend was a full moon in Virgo, which is my sun sign (RIP to Sorry I'm a Virgo Podcast. Or maybe not? Stay tuned) This past full moon is telling us to release what is no longer serving us, to reorganize and reconsider our plans (heavy 6 of Swords energy) and to be willing to try new things.  As y'all know, I've been wanting to quit my job for the last year or so. I'm actually just getting back to work from a two-week leave as an alternative to resigning (ask me about it). During this time, I've been subconsciously preparing for the full moon, by cleaning my house, doing laundry, and redecorating my room. I've also been intentional about the time I spend with myself, while trying to dig deeper into myself and my desires to help me figure out what is my next move in my career, can you say #transitioningteacher.  This brings me to today's post. In transparency, I've been trying to finish writing this for a few days. One day while e...
Post a Comment
Read more

Winter Arc 2024: The Mommy Mogul Rebrand

Welcome back to the blog cousins! First, I want to offer you a scripture, Romans 12:2 "Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think." I have a saying, "Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your reality." Maybe it's not my saying, but it's something that I say and shares the sentiment of Romans 12:2. You can change your life by changing your thoughts. That brings me to the topic of today's blog post. Where am I writing from you ask, my JOB, which I hope to only have for a week longer. What I told you last time, the best thing a job can do for me is what? OKAY! Our completed habit tracker Today, I want to share a challenge that my twin best friends and I are embarking on together. We saw it on TikTok and immediately hopped on the idea. Titled The Winter Arc , the challenge required each of us to pick three pillars where we wanted to create different habits. We then had to identify thr...
Post a Comment
Read more