The Power of Authenticity

Welcome back, family!

I'm proud of myself for the consistency that I've been showing on the blog lately. Only 6 years in the making, but that's a story for another day (Read my post about the 3 Cs of Success). 

So the other day, I was driving to work, menially scrolling my Twitter feed (don't text and drive), when I came across a tweet about a teenager applying for a position at McDonald's. He was asked, "Why do you want to work here?" and "Why did you choose McDonald's?" While reading the comments I realized, did that interviewer even want a real answer? Did he want the teen to say "I need money for Robux and to start saving for grad bash? There's a McDonald's literally on every corner, why not?" I thought about myself in interviews, portraying someone that I hoped would be accepted and seen as valuable by the hiring manager. "Marketing" my best attribute in hopes of filling the position applied for. It sent me down a deeper rabbit hole of thought into how much disingenuity is normalized or even praised in our culture. 

We value surface-level politeness and being politically correct, above a true expression of self. When someone asks "How are you?", the default answer should always be, "I'm fine", right? Is anyone asking about your true state of well-being, or is this just a pleasantry? This disingenuous chatter is more so evident in the workplace, especially as you move higher up the ladder. You're expected to smile every day, always be nice and malleable, and go to company happy hours with people you would ignore in a house fire. And if you show any modicum of human emotion, you're labeled as "difficult", "hard to manage", or "not aligned with the culture". You're skipped on promotions and bonuses. There is no space for your humanity at work, as you are expected to be the picture-perfect employee. 

But what happens when you can't hold that facade anymore? Anything fake will be exposed at some point. How do you continue climbing the corporate ladder if you don't want to play by the rules of engagement? This is where the power of authenticity comes in. 

Short anecdote:

During my first year of teaching, I was in an alternative certification program the summer before school started. We had an activity where we had to identify our values. I had never thought about it before, especially not in a professional sense. After some thought and reflection, I decided my number one value was authenticity. 

Authenticity is one thing, but I can't show my real self to my coworkers, right? It can be difficult to maintain your authentic self in the workplace. But why is that? Job culture tells you to assimilate, and when you're a young spunky black woman like myself, assimilation can sound a lot like white-washing. And what about code-switching? There's this belief we have to use only socially acceptable jargon to be taken seriously by colleagues, superiors, and other stakeholders. At the risk of being misunderstood or even worse undermined and the brunt of condescending glances. But why? Is that question being asked enough? Why are things the way they are and who said this is how they have to remain? Until what end? And to who's benefit?

In the rising discourse following the surge of autism diagnoses, I've noticed more people expressing the exhaustion that comes with masking. Masking - the term for people with autism who attempt to conceal their true disposition and to put on a face to make them more easily accepted by the masses. A mask to protect them from the consequences of their natural idiosyncrasies. Why is there such difficulty grasping and accepting differentness when we know that we are all individuals? No two fingerprints are alike, not even with twins. Even with the scientific advances of the 21st century, we love putting people in boxes and are often times disappointed that they don't fit the title we subscribed to them. There's no need for boxes or labels - people are not last season's wardrobe. 

Authenticity is your superpower. Being you at all times is the best person you can be because there's no one else like you. You're a once-in-a-lifetime cosmic event, there will never be another you on Earth, and facing that fact is a power in itself. Feel empowered by that realization and walk into being yourself to the fullest. 

What if you don't know who you truly are? Well, I believe you do know, and a version of you knows and still remembers. You have to be willing to search within yourself to find them.

Go within, you already have the answers. 

With love always, 

Cousin Lex

Edit: y'all I started writing almost this exact blog post back in 2019. Read my rough blog draft here. Note to self: you are THAT girl. Ne plus ultra. One of one. Trust yourself! Put out the content. Carry on!