What's going on family. It's your cousin Lex here again with another blog post.
As usual, thank everyone for checking in, post after post to spend some time with your girl.
Today I wanted to share what I feel is one of my biggest shortcomings with y'all. I'm not really a "finisher". Meaning I start but don't finish things. I can count on one hand the things that I've set out to do and actually completed. I used to crotchet all the time, I learned how to the second grade. I would buy yarn and needles every few months or so but never actually finished a project. It's so bad, I once started crocheting Heaven a pair of booties when she was a baby, but only made one shoe. I'm telling you I'm sick with it. And to me, it translates into laziness, which then makes me resent myself. Then I go into these downward spirals of self-loathing and disgust, which drains me and prevents me from actually finishing anything. Even with this blog thing, I have about 15 or so posts that I have started but didn't finish. Some of which, I haven't even made any progress to since the day I started them (including this one which I started on August 6th, 2019).
I promise y'all I have so many stories of projects or great ideas that never made it past step one. So today I'm sitting at work (or at least I was when I first started this post) and I'm stressed. I've been stressed for literal days on end because life feels the need to constantly kick my ass. My house is a partially packed train wreck that's causing me unhealthy amounts of anxiety. My car looks like I live in it. I have about seven loads of unwashed laundry lying in my hallway and probably another half load on my bedroom floor. I feel so trapped by the house to the point I want to throw everything away! So why won't I just fix everything that's bothering me, you may ask? Because I can't bring myself to do anything! Maybe it's the stress making me want to neglect everything or the anxiety creating a mountain out of an anthill. Whatever it is I'm sick of it and ready to be back to normal (whatever that is).
Edit: My house is still half packed but at least we did some laundry. Yay for the small wins.
Edit 3/22: My house still looks like a train wreck but at least I cleaned my room.
So that brings me to the first C: Completion. I want to get things done the first time around. And that's with all things I do. Whether it's school work (I've graduated since I started writing this post), laundry, or just menial tasks, I want to actually finish them.
As usual, thank everyone for checking in, post after post to spend some time with your girl.
Today I wanted to share what I feel is one of my biggest shortcomings with y'all. I'm not really a "finisher". Meaning I start but don't finish things. I can count on one hand the things that I've set out to do and actually completed. I used to crotchet all the time, I learned how to the second grade. I would buy yarn and needles every few months or so but never actually finished a project. It's so bad, I once started crocheting Heaven a pair of booties when she was a baby, but only made one shoe. I'm telling you I'm sick with it. And to me, it translates into laziness, which then makes me resent myself. Then I go into these downward spirals of self-loathing and disgust, which drains me and prevents me from actually finishing anything. Even with this blog thing, I have about 15 or so posts that I have started but didn't finish. Some of which, I haven't even made any progress to since the day I started them (including this one which I started on August 6th, 2019).
I promise y'all I have so many stories of projects or great ideas that never made it past step one. So today I'm sitting at work (or at least I was when I first started this post) and I'm stressed. I've been stressed for literal days on end because life feels the need to constantly kick my ass. My house is a partially packed train wreck that's causing me unhealthy amounts of anxiety. My car looks like I live in it. I have about seven loads of unwashed laundry lying in my hallway and probably another half load on my bedroom floor. I feel so trapped by the house to the point I want to throw everything away! So why won't I just fix everything that's bothering me, you may ask? Because I can't bring myself to do anything! Maybe it's the stress making me want to neglect everything or the anxiety creating a mountain out of an anthill. Whatever it is I'm sick of it and ready to be back to normal (whatever that is).
Edit: My house is still half packed but at least we did some laundry. Yay for the small wins.
Edit 3/22: My house still looks like a train wreck but at least I cleaned my room.
Edit 1/14/22: You got this girl! My house still looks a mess though. God knows my heart. I still haven't returned back to "normal" and honestly, I don't know what that is for me.
All of this brings me to today's post about the three C's. I can't really say where I actually heard/read this phrase, but it basically these Cs supposedly sum up the keys to success. Completion, commitment, and consistency. Now, mind you, when I say success I don't just mean money. These three words could bring us so much peace in our everyday life, especially if you have problems with execution like me.
I can't tell you how often I've started something but never finished it. I'm almost nervous about writing my ebook series because there's a part of me that feels like I won't finish it. I actually haven't written anything new in over two months and my original goal was to be finished by December (2019 yikes). Yeah right! I am a planner, so I'm constantly writing things down and making to-do lists. But those things very rarely get completed.
Edit 1/14/22: I haven't forgotten about the ebook series. Life has a funny way of coming full circle.
All of this brings me to today's post about the three C's. I can't really say where I actually heard/read this phrase, but it basically these Cs supposedly sum up the keys to success. Completion, commitment, and consistency. Now, mind you, when I say success I don't just mean money. These three words could bring us so much peace in our everyday life, especially if you have problems with execution like me.
Completion - Getting things done
I can't tell you how often I've started something but never finished it. I'm almost nervous about writing my ebook series because there's a part of me that feels like I won't finish it. I actually haven't written anything new in over two months and my original goal was to be finished by December (2019 yikes). Yeah right! I am a planner, so I'm constantly writing things down and making to-do lists. But those things very rarely get completed.
Edit 1/14/22: I haven't forgotten about the ebook series. Life has a funny way of coming full circle.
So that brings me to the first C: Completion. I want to get things done the first time around. And that's with all things I do. Whether it's school work (I've graduated since I started writing this post), laundry, or just menial tasks, I want to actually finish them.
Edit 1/14/22: This is still something I struggle with, but I'm learning getting it done is better than having it perfect.
It can be so hard doing things that you may not want to or feel like doing. That's where your commitment comes in. People ask me a lot about what's motivating me in life. I tell them I have no motivations. I think the commitment to one's self and goals is more important and more effective than just motivation. Motivation says I need a reason to feel like doing something. Commitment says I'm doing this because I'm dedicated to it, no matter what I feel. In a marriage, we want commitment, not motivation because it's the commitment that keeps them together even when the love wanes.
A lot of times I'm very lenient with myself. I don't stay committed to a goal or even a task. "I can complete it tomorrow," I think to myself. Other times I just plain out don't worry about the goal anymore. One example is going to the gym. I made a goal of going to the gym three times out the week and the first week that I didn't go on a Monday I said, "Fuck it, I already missed one day." So instead of just making up for the day that I didn't go, I just gave up on the goal completely.
Commitment - Show up for yourself
It can be so hard doing things that you may not want to or feel like doing. That's where your commitment comes in. People ask me a lot about what's motivating me in life. I tell them I have no motivations. I think the commitment to one's self and goals is more important and more effective than just motivation. Motivation says I need a reason to feel like doing something. Commitment says I'm doing this because I'm dedicated to it, no matter what I feel. In a marriage, we want commitment, not motivation because it's the commitment that keeps them together even when the love wanes.
Edit 1/14/22: I'm grateful for this post because I'm seeing that while I'm struggling with similar things I have made some progress. While commitment to self is still an area of improvement, I have made it an affirmation. "I am committed to myself". What you give to your subconscious mind will become your reality.
This is probably my hardest one to accomplish. It's a little-known fact about me among my friend group that I rarely stick to anything. Think about this blog, I started off with a plan to write a post once a week and that turned into once every other month. Not to say that I don't value writing in my blog, I enjoy it, it's just that I have difficulty holding myself accountable. That's why so many things don't work out for me, I'm too inconsistent. Relationships don't work, friendships don't work, lifestyle changes don't work, exercise regimes, etc. If I want to do something for a week, I'd be lucky to get three days of it done. That's my biggest barrier with school too. I get fatigued in the first few weeks of the semester, then I fall off. Lose focus or drive or motivation. Then I spend 3-4 weeks trying to get back right and the cycle continues.
Consistency - Do it every time
This is probably my hardest one to accomplish. It's a little-known fact about me among my friend group that I rarely stick to anything. Think about this blog, I started off with a plan to write a post once a week and that turned into once every other month. Not to say that I don't value writing in my blog, I enjoy it, it's just that I have difficulty holding myself accountable. That's why so many things don't work out for me, I'm too inconsistent. Relationships don't work, friendships don't work, lifestyle changes don't work, exercise regimes, etc. If I want to do something for a week, I'd be lucky to get three days of it done. That's my biggest barrier with school too. I get fatigued in the first few weeks of the semester, then I fall off. Lose focus or drive or motivation. Then I spend 3-4 weeks trying to get back right and the cycle continues.
Edit 1/14/22: Alright family, this is a blog post I started in August 2019. I'm just publishing this same post with some edits today in 2022. While these are still things I'm working on I think it's important that I acknowledge with myself that I have grown with these things and have even learned more about myself why I am the way I am.
In a later post, I will talk about my diagnosis, so I don't want to drop any terms, but it's so important to keep track of patterns in our lives. While I was beating myself up for being inconsistent, there were other factors at play in my life and overall wellbeing that kept me that way. Thank you God for self-awareness.
This life is definitely a journey family! Learning to be grateful for all things: good and bad.
Sending love and positivity your way,
Cousin Lex
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