Welcome back, family!
One thing about a job, the best thing it can do for me is motivate me to write on this blog!
I want to start with this Bible verse: 1 Peter 4:10: "Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms."
Lately, the message of tapping into my gifts has been ringing in my eargates. Whether in music or even on TikToks, the message of trusting my God-given gifts and talents to sustain me has been playing back and forth. But what about my reality?
I have been asking my partner for months to quit my job. Before we even moved together, I was contemplating quitting. I even put in a resignation letter back in January (I was still teaching at the time). Now every day, I begrudgingly get up and dressed for work, sit in traffic, sit at a desk, and stare at a screen for hours until 5 pm. Rinse and repeat, Monday-Friday. The only thing keeping me is my desire to get a paycheck, keep a roof over our heads, and my toes French-tipped in a pair of Tory Burch sandals. I feel like it's a waste of my time being here every day for eight hours a day. I even mentioned working part-time, just as a means to get some of my life back.
That's my main issue with working a job - you give up so much of your life! You give up your time, your best ideas, and your autonomy for decision-making. My child can't get sick without me thinking about work. I can't go to bed without considering the commute for the morning. After work, my day is essentially over, so I don't get to explore other avenues and experiences that I may want to. I can't be my full self working for someone else. It leaves me drained and unfulfilled.
I have been grappling with this concept for years, since the inception of this blog. Remember, I started this because I was bored out of my mind at a job doing nothing for me, which I eventually quit. I know how to quit a job, just sometimes not the right time. But that's the thing about timing, there is no "right" time because time ultimately does not exist! Therefore I can't be bound or limited by it. Do you get me?
It sounds very woo-woo, but what did I say in my last post about dark matter? The majority of matter in existence is dark matter, yet we cannot see it nor quantify it. Does that mean it doesn't exist? No!! It just serves as a reminder that not everything in life makes sense to the human mind. Our comprehension capacity is limited, and even more so when we consider our upbringing and native socialization. We can't know all that there is to know in life. In the words of Socrates, "All I know is that I know nothing." Let me tell you what I do know, I can't keep operating at 50% capacity.
Back to our Bible verse: we must be good stewards of our gifts. What does that mean, being a good steward? By definition, a steward is someone responsible for the affairs of something. Think flight attendant or house manager. They are constantly working and know their duty in and out. That is how we should be over our God-given gifts and talents. We need to cultivate them. You know you are good at drawing, yet you don't even own a sketchpad. You've been dancing since you were 3, but since you've grown up now, you don't even dance anymore.
This reminds me of the Parable of the Talents, which happens to be the only fiction book I'm reading currently. Found in Matthew 25, the story follows a master and five servants. The master gifts each servant a "talent", which we know now was the equivalent of 20 years worth of hard labor (don’t miss that!) The first two slaves were given five talents each, the next two were given two, and the last slave was only given one. Each slave, minus the last one, was able to multiply their talents, which pleased the master. But the last slave hid his single talent out of FEAR. The master was enraged and stripped him of his talent and gave it away.
Do I need to tell you the message? Exactly. You better use the gifts God gave you because he can just as quickly give them to someone else. And don't think he wouldn't. Have you ever seen someone execute an idea that you've been having, but just slept on? Yeah God gave them your talent. You weren't doing anything with it, why let it go to waste?
I'm done letting my talent go to waste.
Do you understand me? Amen.
But I'm rich in so many things, not just money. I'm finding the joy of expressing my talent; whether through the blog or anywhere else. All the people I can touch with my story, that's a part of my talent. Because this life, no matter how difficult, was given to me for a reason. Telling my story is a part of that.
Love you to life family!
Always,
Cousin Lex
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