Welcome back, family!
Today I wanted to share a message that has been on my heart for about a week. But first, a little back story:
Remember, in my last post, I shared about how I could feel the transition taking place in my life. Maybe I couldn't see all the pieces, but something energetically let me know I was moving from one stage of life to the next. While excited, it's also nerve-racking because a part of me wants to hold on to what's familiar, what's safe, and what's tangible to me. I can be a realist at times.
This means that a part of me was willing to settle into my romantic life. It's bad when you can recognize the cycles, but still make the same choices to stay in them. Textbook insanity, right? This same part of me was also willing to settle into my habits, knowing that they were stunting my growth and limiting my opportunities. But I just had to do the things to cope, rather than face those internal battles head-on like I thought I wanted to. This same part of me was also comforting complaining every day, five days a week about a job because fear told me I was unqualified to work anywhere else, had no transferable skills, or that I wouldn't be able to land a position with comparable pay.
I can now label that side of myself as my shadow self. The side of me that I choose to ignore and let fester like mold on old cheese. The side of ourselves that we listen to when we fall back into old patterns that we know we have outgrown, but at the same time are too scared to acknowledge we haven't identified a replacement. I say we, and I mean me. I can only share because I know I can't be the only person who feels it. That pull back to the familiar, as soon as you decide, "Okay I want something new. I'm tired of where I am right now. I want to change my life," yet you live the same as you did yesterday.
That brings me back to what has been churning in my head for days: you have the power to have it all. First, let me revisit: I can be a realist at times. But I'm still a woman of unwavering faith. This year has shown me the presence of God is truly over my life, covering me through every step of this life. Even as I write now, God is here with me, guiding my hands over the keyboard, granting me wisdom. So while in reality it may look impossible, with God through faith anything is possible.
KJV James 2:17 Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.
Next point: faith is only a piece of the equation. Why it is that some people get everything they want, while others suffer and remain stagnate? Is there a special trait, skill, or genetic code that makes certain people more disposed to receive their wildest desires? What about money? We can't forget that we are seeing the price of everything skyrocket, while wages and salaries have risen at a fraction of the rate. With all these variables, how is it a guarantee that we can have it all? That's the thing: it isn't. I mean you still can, most definitely, but only to the extent you are willing to lose, sacrifice, and face yourself will you receive it.
This has been my own personal challenge to y'all. It's hard for me to let go. I'm a Virgo lol, while mutable still, I change at my own pace. Rather than just surrendering to the Divine, letting the One take control of my life, my puny human mind wants to take the reigns, thinking that I can reach my goals while circumventing the hard work. Today I cried because I realize this version of self will have to die for the version I'm dreaming of to be born.
That means connections: romantic and platonic, will have to go. Habits and routines would need to go if they aren't conducive to my ideal life. Even smaller, limiting mindsets like lack, poverty, and insecurity would need to go if I were to get it all. Realizing that the abundance is already mine, the only thing keeping me from it is me. It's starting to really become me vs. me. I'm thinking to myself: how bad do you want it, Alexis?
Bad enough to lose all you know? Bad enough to start over and be a rookie at something. Bad enough to make a mistake? That's probably the hardest one for my perfectionist self. Being a novice at something, asking for help, the unknown: these are Virgo's boogiemen.
But I know on the other side of that shadow self, is the light. The peace and overall abundance that has been covenant to me by God. He wants only the best for me, after all, I'm his favorite child. He chose my soul to be born at this time, to my parents, in my family, in my hometown, with all my current life circumstances. I am a part of his grand plan, and I truly believe an abundant life is my birthright. Only to be received through loss, shedding, and discomfort. Because true, substantial growth is painful at times.
Farewell for now cousins - hope today's message blesses you as much as me.
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