Howdy family!
Thank you for returning to the blog and congratulations to me for five years officially blogging! This is my oldest living project, which truly speaks to my desire and passion for writing. I feel better writing, or in Human Design terms, it brings me SATISFACTION.
Today I'm at work, burning time, watching the clock go by. For my folks who know about Human Design, clock-watching is one of the worst things to do as a Generator or an MG, but here I am. I wrote in a previous post about my disdain for my current employment, and how I feel trapped and like it was a bad decision for me overall. That part I can take back, though. There's no such thing as a bad decision, on the contrary, every choice works in alignment for my greatest good.
Knowing that gives me some peace, but it's still difficult to sit in this interim waiting period. Again, for my Human Design folks, Generators and MGs need to wait because it's part of our decision-making strategy - wait to respond. Over time, while during my experiment, I realized that the waiting period wasn't a punishment for me. It was an opportunity for me to prepare. Success is when preparation meets opportunity. I had let opportunities slip before because my affairs weren't in order. Now I realize all this downtime is the time for me to be planning my next big thing.
Through my latest blog posts, I've been hinting at getting out of the rat race. I thought it was just education until I got this new job and realized it was working all together. Long story short, I'm burnt out and ready to quit my job - again. But this time, I'm preparing for my exit. I used some of my end-of-year income to pay off my car insurance premium and pay my rent a month in advance. I'm paying down my credit cards aggressively and putting every extra dollar in my savings. By setting myself up for when I quit, I can actually rest a month or two before I start looking for work or doing odd labor jobs. This is different from other times I've contemplated quitting because I normally get fed up and walk out. And do so without regard for how the bills will get paid (God is my source and #1 provider always).
I've also been preparing for life out of the fold. Wanting to start my Human Design consulting business, I used my downtime here to set up my Calendly booking link, create my rough business plan, brainstorm some different products and services I could offer, and even write more blog posts (like this one I'm writing now). All to say this downtime, no matter how irritating to my busy-body spirit it is, is not without purpose. So much can happen in the in-between-time and I'm seeing myself get more aligned through every stage.
Going through this preparation has made me feel so much better about quitting. I feel like I can do it and not be homeless (my biggest fear). Knowing that fear is my motivation, research and preparation are vital before any big move. Fear of poverty made me leave Tallahassee and I was able to double my income with one year with that strategic move. Now being in Houston for some time has conjured up other fears, like the ability to safely grow my family. Lately, I've been hearing The Climb by Miley Cyrus playing over in my head. I've grown to accept my gift of clairaudience, God speaks to me with music. The part that sticks out is: "There's always going to be another mountain. I'm always going to want to make it move. There's always going to be an uphill battle. Sometimes you're going to have to lose. Ain't about how fast I get there. Ain't about what's waiting on the other side. It's the climb." To me, this preparation season is the climb. I'm falling in love with the process, and being grateful for every stage in the journey.
Where's your journey taking you next?
Until next time,
Cousin Lex
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