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Letter to my Old Self - 5 Year Recap

Hey family! I know I've been MIA on the blog lately, but y'all know I only write when I get the urge to do so. I was sitting here scrolling, I just finished doing a career tarot reading on myself (my newest hobby), and I decided to write a letter to myself from 5 years ago. I recently saw a video on Instagram about Frank Ocean doing a similar exercise back in 2020 and I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to reflect on my progress. We can get so caught up in where we're trying to go, that we forget or refuse to acknowledge how much progress we've made already. I challenge you to do this exercise, either in your journal or notes app or if you have a blog like me you can write it there. Just find a space to reflect on yourself and write it out :)


Dear Alexis from 2018, 

It's me Alexis from 2023. Hey, girl hey! First off, I'm so proud of you. Well of me (or is it us?) You've been doing big things these last 3 years. You finally launched your boutique in 2020, Hvn on Erth Boutique. It did well for a while but you let it fall off to focus on other things. You graduated from FSU in the Spring of 2021. Don't ask about the GPA honey, just know we walked that stage and got the DIPLOMA! Whatever class you failed, you still learned something from them. After graduation, you found a job and moved to Texas, Houston more specifically. You've been a middle school teacher for the past two years and you're amazing at it. Your students love you and you're an invaluable asset on your campus. All things considered, you've been thinking of leaving education but are okay with that decision and with the possible uncertainty you face. You've been thinking of higher education lately, either getting your Ph.D. in Sociology or finally applying to law school. Even though you haven't begun studying for the LSAT, you're just taking leaps of faith. You went through about a thousand different hobbies, your most recent ones being tarot and Human Design. Hopefully, you'll start your YouTube channel soon and give the people what they want. Your dad went to prison, so your relationship with him and his side of the family has been strained. You're working towards healing that family wound so it's okay. You're in therapy, and even though you don't go regularly, you are connected with a therapist and have been working towards emotional stability. Back in 2021, you were diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. You aren't taking medication anymore, but your symptoms and cycles have been very stable and you're able to identify when you're heading toward a depressive stage. It's okay that you were diagnosed, there's nothing wrong with you (and you are not Kim!) Your girls are so grown! Heaven just turned 10 and is your whole twin! She's almost as tall as you and all! Malia is five and is still so sweet and smart. She's been practicing reading all year since her birthday. You're doing a great job as their mother, even when you don't feel like you're doing your best. Malik got sentenced to 20 years, and while y'all's relationship has been strained, he's still present for the kids, so that's the best you can hope for at this time. Madison moved out, but she graduated high school and went to college, so be proud that you were able to be a positive influence on her also. I don't know who your man was at this time, maybe DeeBlack lol, but you meet a great man in 2020. Y'all don't stay together, but he helps heal you in a lot of ways and teaches you a lot about what you want in a man and with a relationship. At this time you're single, and I mean single single no roster or nothing, but honestly, you're content with that. Be proud of yourself because it took a lot of reflection, soul searching, and acceptance to reach this point of solidarity and contentment in your singleness. Although you are single, you're not jaded and are open to accepting love, specifically from your husband. I don't know if you believed in marriage back in 2018, but baby you're a whole wife in training in 2023. 

I just want you to know that you're doing a phenomenal job and I'm so so proud of you. You made all these things possible today. You are an amazing mother, a sensual woman, caring, and oh so very beautiful (Siri play So Fine by Mint Condition). You started your locs back in 2020 and they are thriving girl! You ain't baldhead no more! Cherish yourself because you are doing all the right things. Don't feel bad that you're still in Holton Street. Trust me, once you move out, you're never going back to the projects again mama I promise. I love you so much and I forgive you for being young and human. Keep making me proud!

With love always, 

Alexis 

2018


2023



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