Hey family!
It's been so long since I wrote a blog post, but don't think I ever forgot or gave up on Life With Lexis Kai. In reality, I was just trying to create more life with Lex (see what I did there). I've been tapping back into myself. Realigning to my spiritual journey and overall individual growth. This time apart has done us some good. I feel like I'm in a better space to create and am learning that it's expression over output. With that lesson in mind, what better way to get back into blogging than with a recap of my year.
I don't know about anyone else, but this year flew by for me. It feels like two months ago, the spring semester was starting and I was trying to find someone to make my graduation stole (@gradology on Instagram). Now today I'm sitting in the grass at a Houston park watching my girls play on the slide while on holiday break.
My 2021 Overview
So many things have happened this year. One of my major accomplishments is graduating from THE Florida State University with my Bachelor of Science in Criminology. I double-majored in Criminology and Interdisciplinary Social Sciences, but they don't put all that on your degree. I made it through the spring semester by the skin on my teeth literally. I mean like turning in a paper that was already overdue at 2pm on the day of graduation. But by God's divine grace I walked and my degree was confirmed.
After graduation, I knew I wasn't staying in Tallahassee. I had no purpose there than to go to school and now that I'd graduated I was ready to get the hell outta dodge. Before graduating, I was doing some research on the next place after Tallanasty and Houston was on my radar. I didn't want to go back to Jacksonville, my hometown, because I felt there wasn't any opportunity there for me. Besides I did everything in my power to get out of the crab pot, I wasn't trying to go back in. Everybody asks me what made me want to move to Houston and the #1 thing was money. Everything is bigger in Texas including salaries and per capita income for black people. I had taken an impromptu trip to Houston back in 2020 and fell in love with the atmosphere. I wrote "Move to Houston in 2022" down in my notebook probably my fall semester senior year, graduated in April 2021, and moved into my Houston apartment in July 2021.
Side note: one thing about God's will, when he tells you to move, you MOVE!
The move by itself was very hard. I felt like I left everything and everyone in Florida. This "second life" I had been praying for and looking forward to was in my hands and I didn't want it anymore. Maybe because it didn't look how I wanted it to. Maybe because I wasn't well prepared. Either way, the move pushed me to look inward at the things that I had been trying to run away from (we'll come back to these in another post).
By now you probably like, girl why did you move in the first place? Let's backtrack to May 2021. I had just graduated and was working from home making $14/hr. Crazy enough that's the most I had ever made per hour at that point in my life. But it was so draining and working from home I had no real work-life balance so it was destroying my mental health. Another thing I wrote in my notebook junior/senior year was that I wanted to become a full-time educator. I had no background in the classroom (Crim major) but I knew the intersectionality between poverty, crime, and educational attainment. Being the superhero I think I am, I felt like the education system would be a great way to intervene in the cycle of criminality among black and brown populations.
With no educational background, I was really just taking a leap of faith (I'm still in Tallahassee at this time) and started applying to teaching jobs in Houston. I got offered a substitute teaching position in Houston, but it was only paying $15/hr. Yes, more than I was making, but I was like "LISTEN HERE, I GOT A WHOLE DEGREE OUTCHEA!" It didn't seem like it made sense to move states for only a $1/hr difference, so I kept applying. I probably only finished two Non-certified teacher positions before I got a callback. Fast forward and I got the job! I'm currently teaching 6th and 7th-grade reading intervention. I love my students (another post coming soon about the education system chile) and am making the most money I've ever made probably more than that family member who told me to stay.
Lessons Learned in 2021
I know that was a lot yall and honestly that wasn't even the half. But those are some of the biggest things in 2021 that I want to celebrate and share. Now I want to share some of the lessons I've learned during reflection.
1. Forgive yourself
There were a lot of times that I made poor decisions. Whether procrastinating or engaging in things I knew I shouldn't, spending money I didn't have, or just overall not taking care of my later self, I went against my better judgment so much throughout the year. And I'm a Virgo yall so you know I'm my worst critic. I beat myself up over so many things, all of them being in the past. That's when I learned I had to forgive myself for the mistakes I had made instead of reliving them every day. Woulda, shoulda, coulda, but I didn't do a lot of things. I suffered a consequence and I had to move on. I learned to forgive myself for being human.
2. Faith works
As you could imagine, I had so many naysayers and self-doubt as well. It seemed like I was trying to do the impossible. But I relied on my faith, not only in a higher power but in myself. I had to remind myself I was capable and of the promise that God had made with me. I had to have crazy faith and I knew it worked because it got me to and through FSU. Proverbs 3:5 - Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding. As understanding as I was, I couldn't have imagined that things would lay out the way they did for me. My faith is what got me this far.
3. Self-love is the 1st love
This one is head ass but no seriously. There is so much that I put up with and put myself through because I didn't love myself properly. As well as so many opportunities I missed because I was giving more energy to outside entities as opposed to myself. But as I learned, or was reminded rather, you have to give yourself love if you want to receive love. Not even romantic love, but love in general. Love is the highest frequency and the key to manifesting your dreams. I had to give myself more love to get more out of life.
Looking Ahead to 2022
Super long post I know, but only because y'all have been missing out on so much family! Looking ahead into the new year I want to accomplish some things. New content, new platforms, just a whole lotta new new sh*t! And I want the same for y'all.
Ciao, from cousin Lex
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